Summary: Alternate reality. Buffy starts as a normal college girl. But her life is slowly turned upside down beginning with the day she’s unexpectedly in danger. Hired by chance to protect her is Spike, a vampire with a reputation for doing business with anyone for enough money. She’s less than thrilled, but finds herself drawn to him even as she realizes he’s more than he seems. But humans aren’t the only ones after her, and when she’s called as the Slayer, her whole world changes. Things with Spike, who she’s discovered some realities about, are no longer as simple as they seemed. But being sent to the Hellmouth and realizing the high death rate of her calling, Buffy hires Spike as backup with the only thing she has left—Slayer blood.

Categories: Award Winners, Alternate Reality
Characters: Angelus, Buffy, Drusilla, Giles, Spike, Wesley, Willow, Xander
Genres: Action/Adventure, Angst, Drama, Romance
Warnings: Adult Language, Blood Play, Sexual Situations, Violence
Completed: Yes Chapters: 92
Word count: 192,514 Hit Count: 372,297 ePub Downloads: 1,551
Published: January 12, 2008 Updated: September 13, 2009


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1. 1 Problems by GoldenUsagi - Likes: 26 Comments: 19 Word Count: 1,438 Hit Count: 10,554

Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended.

2. 2 Conversations by GoldenUsagi - Likes: 15 Comments: 8 Word Count: 1,138 Hit Count: 4,343
Awards this story has won and is nominated for. Thank you for all your support! Fang Fetish R8: Best Alternate Reality, Best Angst, Runner Up Best WIP. Rogue Poet R4: Best Plot, Runner Up Best WIP. Spuffy R14: Best General Saga Reader's, Best General Angst Judge's, Judge's Pick, (nominated Best General Romance). Rogue Poet R5, 'Best Round': Best Plot Readers Choice. SunnyD R15: Best New Author, Best Spuffy Angst, Best AU, Best Drama, Best Unfinished. Rogue Poet R6: Runner Up Best Characterization. Spuffy R15: Most Original Plot Judge's, Judge's Pick. Running with Scissors R4: Runner Up Best WIP. Spark and Burn R5: Runner Up Best Alternate Reality, Best Alternate Reality Reader's, (nominated Best WIP). Spark and Burn R6: Currently nominated for: Best Plot, Best Angst, Best Spike Characterization, and Best New Author.

3. 3 Introductions by GoldenUsagi - Likes: 16 Comments: 7 Word Count: 1,314 Hit Count: 4,233
I have revised the first eighteen chapters. So if you happen to be rereading and wondering if something had always been there, the answer is probably not. I have not taken anything out or changed anything major, and have kept the chapter content the same, in order to not throw off the chapter numbers or the reviews. I have ended up adding a few scenes, but mainly there are smaller changes. Tighter point of view, conversation structure, more description, etc. These early chapters before Buffy becomes the Slayer have been bothering me for a while, and after much debating with myself, I decided to redo them. I felt that the tone and style didn’t quite fit with the rest of the story, and I wanted the story as a whole to flow more naturally.

4. 4 Indications by GoldenUsagi - Likes: 18 Comments: 7 Word Count: 1,158 Hit Count: 4,293

5. 5 Exchanges by GoldenUsagi - Likes: 16 Comments: 7 Word Count: 1,525 Hit Count: 4,149
For anyone wondering if Spike has the Gem of Amara, yes he does. :) Which more will be said about later.

6. 6 Dances by GoldenUsagi - Likes: 16 Comments: 7 Word Count: 1,487 Hit Count: 4,088

7. 7 Clues by GoldenUsagi - Likes: 14 Comments: 6 Word Count: 1,294 Hit Count: 4,052

8. 8 Inquiries by GoldenUsagi - Likes: 15 Comments: 6 Word Count: 1,604 Hit Count: 3,975

9. 9 Parties by GoldenUsagi - Likes: 18 Comments: 7 Word Count: 2,072 Hit Count: 4,325

10. 10 Revelations by GoldenUsagi - Likes: 16 Comments: 7 Word Count: 1,540 Hit Count: 3,977

11. 11 Explanations by GoldenUsagi - Likes: 15 Comments: 6 Word Count: 1,626 Hit Count: 3,968

12. 12 Answers by GoldenUsagi - Likes: 18 Comments: 8 Word Count: 1,511 Hit Count: 4,053

13. 13 Tensions by GoldenUsagi - Likes: 18 Comments: 8 Word Count: 1,547 Hit Count: 3,982

14. 14 Hits by GoldenUsagi - Likes: 16 Comments: 7 Word Count: 1,515 Hit Count: 3,996

15. 15 Departures by GoldenUsagi - Likes: 16 Comments: 8 Word Count: 1,947 Hit Count: 3,993
A huge thank you to whoever nominated me at the Spuffy Awards Round 14! I'm up for Best General Saga, General Excellent Author, Best General Angst, and Best General Romance. Thank you so much! I'm thrilled people are enjoying the story so much.

16. 16 Collisions by GoldenUsagi - Likes: 18 Comments: 6 Word Count: 2,651 Hit Count: 4,343

17. 17 Stories by GoldenUsagi - Likes: 16 Comments: 6 Word Count: 1,591 Hit Count: 3,952

18. 18 Realities by GoldenUsagi - Likes: 16 Comments: 7 Word Count: 1,761 Hit Count: 4,105
I've written an NC-17 one shot that continues Buffy and Spike’s first night together. It takes place between chapters 17 and 18, and is posted separately HERE.

19. 19 Shiftings by GoldenUsagi - Likes: 16 Comments: 7 Word Count: 1,815 Hit Count: 4,325

I’ve been nominated at the Fang Fetish Awards Round 8, for Best Alternate Reality, Best Angst, and Best WIP! Thank you!

20. 20 Callings by GoldenUsagi - Likes: 16 Comments: 8 Word Count: 1,396 Hit Count: 4,222

21. 21 Lessons by GoldenUsagi - Likes: 16 Comments: 6 Word Count: 1,355 Hit Count: 3,966

22. 22 Hunters by GoldenUsagi - Likes: 14 Comments: 7 Word Count: 1,582 Hit Count: 3,751

23. 23 Glimpses by GoldenUsagi - Likes: 15 Comments: 7 Word Count: 1,345 Hit Count: 3,952

24. 24 Predators by GoldenUsagi - Likes: 17 Comments: 9 Word Count: 1,489 Hit Count: 4,066

25. 25 Moves by GoldenUsagi - Likes: 15 Comments: 8 Word Count: 1,620 Hit Count: 4,154

26. 26 Decisions by GoldenUsagi - Likes: 14 Comments: 7 Word Count: 1,684 Hit Count: 3,706

27. 27 Burdens by GoldenUsagi - Likes: 15 Comments: 7 Word Count: 1,338 Hit Count: 3,734

28. 28 Sessions by GoldenUsagi - Likes: 13 Comments: 4 Word Count: 1,140 Hit Count: 3,654

29. 29 Admissions by GoldenUsagi - Likes: 15 Comments: 8 Word Count: 1,589 Hit Count: 3,705

30. 30 Contracts by GoldenUsagi - Likes: 16 Comments: 7 Word Count: 1,728 Hit Count: 4,389

31. 31 Adjustments by GoldenUsagi - Likes: 14 Comments: 7 Word Count: 1,610 Hit Count: 3,803

For convenience’s sake, the house that was for sale when Buffy and Joyce moved in the show is also for sale now. :)

32. 32 Meetings by GoldenUsagi - Likes: 16 Comments: 7 Word Count: 1,629 Hit Count: 3,879

33. 33 Histories by GoldenUsagi - Likes: 14 Comments: 6 Word Count: 1,671 Hit Count: 3,816

34. 34 Agreements by GoldenUsagi - Likes: 14 Comments: 6 Word Count: 1,746 Hit Count: 3,710

35. 35 Tastes by GoldenUsagi - Likes: 16 Comments: 7 Word Count: 1,033 Hit Count: 3,984

36. 36 Insights by GoldenUsagi - Likes: 16 Comments: 7 Word Count: 1,888 Hit Count: 4,118

37. 37 Ramblings by GoldenUsagi - Likes: 15 Comments: 7 Word Count: 2,219 Hit Count: 3,806

38. 38 Acclimations by GoldenUsagi - Likes: 15 Comments: 8 Word Count: 1,758 Hit Count: 3,906

39. 39 Flashes by GoldenUsagi - Likes: 15 Comments: 9 Word Count: 2,148 Hit Count: 4,348
Because I’ve always wondered whether the ritual from What’s My Line, if completed properly, would really have killed Angel, or just made him weak like Dru or worse. Also, I’m going to assume that there were other books with the ritual/key code in them that are floating around out there in the demon world.

40. 40 Gatherings by GoldenUsagi - Likes: 16 Comments: 8 Word Count: 1,859 Hit Count: 3,693

41. 41 Preparations by GoldenUsagi - Likes: 17 Comments: 8 Word Count: 1,712 Hit Count: 3,978

42. 42 Interviews by GoldenUsagi - Likes: 17 Comments: 10 Word Count: 1,919 Hit Count: 3,740
Thank you to LindsayH for beta-ing from here on out!

43. 43 Outings by GoldenUsagi - Likes: 19 Comments: 11 Word Count: 1,815 Hit Count: 3,769

44. 44 Disclosures by GoldenUsagi - Likes: 19 Comments: 10 Word Count: 1,915 Hit Count: 3,902

45. 45 Accounts by GoldenUsagi - Likes: 17 Comments: 10 Word Count: 2,454 Hit Count: 3,728

Wow! I won at the Fang Fetish Awards for Best Alternate Reality, Best Angst, and Runner Up Best WIP. I never really expected to win one award there, much less three. *squeeeee!* Anyway, thank you so much to all the readers who have encouraged me, and I hope you keep enjoying the story!

A/N for the chapter: I always wondered what would have happened if the Mayor had met the real Angelus, not the pretending one in Enemies…

46. 46 Assumptions by GoldenUsagi - Likes: 16 Comments: 9 Word Count: 1,537 Hit Count: 3,679

47. 47 Pieces by GoldenUsagi - Likes: 16 Comments: 9 Word Count: 1,784 Hit Count: 3,789

48. 48 Shatters by GoldenUsagi - Likes: 16 Comments: 8 Word Count: 1,579 Hit Count: 4,255

49. 49 Steps by GoldenUsagi - Likes: 19 Comments: 11 Word Count: 1,580 Hit Count: 3,713
Sideways has just won Best Plot and Runner Up Best WIP at the Rogue Poet Awards round 4! *squeee!*

50. 50 Moments by GoldenUsagi - Likes: 25 Comments: 18 Word Count: 2,463 Hit Count: 3,736
I won at the Spuffy Awards round 14 for Best General Angst Judge's Choice, Best General Saga Reader's Choice, and Judge's Pick! Thank you! And another thank you to whoever nominated me at the Spark and Burn Awards round 5 for Best WIP, Best Plot, and Best Alternate Reality!

51. 51 Lines by GoldenUsagi - Likes: 17 Comments: 10 Word Count: 2,397 Hit Count: 3,755

52. 52 Reflections by GoldenUsagi - Likes: 20 Comments: 11 Word Count: 2,710 Hit Count: 3,931
I’ve been nominated at the Sunnydale Memorial Fanfiction Awards Round 15, for Best New Author, Best Angst, Best AU, Best Drama, Best Unfinished. Thank you to whoever nominated me!

53. 53 Stances by GoldenUsagi - Likes: 17 Comments: 8 Word Count: 2,009 Hit Count: 3,666

54. 54 Advances by GoldenUsagi - Likes: 18 Comments: 8 Word Count: 1,703 Hit Count: 3,904
I won at the Rogue Poet Awards round 5, the “Best of the Best” round, for Best Plot Readers Choice. Thank you!

55. 55 Weapons by GoldenUsagi - Likes: 19 Comments: 11 Word Count: 2,407 Hit Count: 3,830

56. 56 Rests by GoldenUsagi - Likes: 19 Comments: 10 Word Count: 2,155 Hit Count: 3,987

57. 57 Whispers by GoldenUsagi - Likes: 23 Comments: 14 Word Count: 1,703 Hit Count: 3,992

58. 58 Discoveries by GoldenUsagi - Likes: 19 Comments: 9 Word Count: 2,571 Hit Count: 3,803

59. 59 Talks by GoldenUsagi - Likes: 17 Comments: 10 Word Count: 1,902 Hit Count: 3,655

60. 60 Breaks by GoldenUsagi - Likes: 19 Comments: 10 Word Count: 1,985 Hit Count: 3,687

61. 61 Ruins by GoldenUsagi - Likes: 19 Comments: 12 Word Count: 2,320 Hit Count: 3,863

62. 62 Reckonings by GoldenUsagi - Likes: 21 Comments: 13 Word Count: 1,579 Hit Count: 3,839

63. 63 Reports by GoldenUsagi - Likes: 17 Comments: 9 Word Count: 1,967 Hit Count: 3,776

64. 64 Touches by GoldenUsagi - Likes: 26 Comments: 14 Word Count: 1,546 Hit Count: 3,802

65. 65 Evenings by GoldenUsagi - Likes: 24 Comments: 16 Word Count: 3,180 Hit Count: 5,048

66. 66 Declarations by GoldenUsagi - Likes: 19 Comments: 9 Word Count: 2,759 Hit Count: 4,261

67. 67 Deliberations by GoldenUsagi - Likes: 20 Comments: 12 Word Count: 1,470 Hit Count: 3,921

68. 68 Vows by GoldenUsagi - Likes: 20 Comments: 12 Word Count: 2,697 Hit Count: 4,148
Wow! I got a bunch of awards at the SunnyD Awards, Round 15! I won for Best New Author, Best AU, Best Spuffy Angst, Best Drama, and Best Unfinished. Thank you so much to everyone who voted for me!!

69. 69 Connections by GoldenUsagi - Likes: 17 Comments: 9 Word Count: 3,247 Hit Count: 4,111

I won Runner Up Best Characterization at round 6 of the Rogue Poet Awards, and Most Original Plot Judge's Choice and Judge's Pick at round 15 of the Spuffy Awards.  Thank you!

70. 70 Days by GoldenUsagi - Likes: 20 Comments: 10 Word Count: 2,300 Hit Count: 4,102

71. 71 Confessions by GoldenUsagi - Likes: 15 Comments: 8 Word Count: 2,545 Hit Count: 3,924

72. 72 Shocks by GoldenUsagi - Likes: 19 Comments: 11 Word Count: 3,002 Hit Count: 3,887

73. 73 Difficulties by GoldenUsagi - Likes: 14 Comments: 7 Word Count: 1,552 Hit Count: 3,778

74. 74 Assurances by GoldenUsagi - Likes: 16 Comments: 9 Word Count: 3,257 Hit Count: 4,383
Don’t expect this to be a rewrite of Helpless. It will go quite a bit differently.

75. 75 Intentions by GoldenUsagi - Likes: 17 Comments: 8 Word Count: 4,171 Hit Count: 4,091
Thank you to Slaymesoftly for starting to beta!

76. 76 Trials by GoldenUsagi - Likes: 17 Comments: 9 Word Count: 5,265 Hit Count: 4,033
While I’m not a total conspiracy theorist about the Council, I do think it’s unlikely that every Slayer would have faced a vampire as bad as the one Buffy (who could have been a problematic Slayer) faced in canon.

77. 77 Stages by GoldenUsagi - Likes: 20 Comments: 12 Word Count: 3,893 Hit Count: 4,086

78. 78 Secrets by GoldenUsagi - Likes: 18 Comments: 11 Word Count: 2,709 Hit Count: 4,092

79. 79 Arrangements by GoldenUsagi - Likes: 15 Comments: 9 Word Count: 1,725 Hit Count: 4,082

80. 80 Understandings by GoldenUsagi - Likes: 18 Comments: 11 Word Count: 2,457 Hit Count: 3,921
Sideways won Runner Up Best WIP at round 4 of the Running with Scissors Awards! Thank you!

81. 81 Dreams by GoldenUsagi - Likes: 15 Comments: 7 Word Count: 2,114 Hit Count: 3,850
Sideways won at the Spark and Burn Awards Round 5 for Runner Up Best Alternate Reality and Reader's Choice Best Alternate Reality. Thank you so much!

82. 82 Stirrings by GoldenUsagi - Likes: 16 Comments: 11 Word Count: 2,525 Hit Count: 3,932
Thank you to whoever nominated me at the Spark and Burn Awards round 6!  I’m up for Best Plot, Best Angst, Best Spike Characterization, and Best New Author!

83. 83 Targets by GoldenUsagi - Likes: 21 Comments: 15 Word Count: 1,877 Hit Count: 4,267

84. 84 Contentions by GoldenUsagi - Likes: 16 Comments: 10 Word Count: 3,864 Hit Count: 4,000

85. 85 Battles by GoldenUsagi - Likes: 22 Comments: 15 Word Count: 1,912 Hit Count: 3,768

86. 86 Wounds by GoldenUsagi - Likes: 20 Comments: 12 Word Count: 3,049 Hit Count: 3,883
Thank you to Legen for helping with the medical bits!

87. 87 Recoveries by GoldenUsagi - Likes: 17 Comments: 11 Word Count: 2,237 Hit Count: 3,733

88. 88 Visits by GoldenUsagi - Likes: 19 Comments: 14 Word Count: 3,239 Hit Count: 3,656

89. 89 Resolutions by GoldenUsagi - Likes: 18 Comments: 11 Word Count: 4,248 Hit Count: 3,854

90. 90 Choices by GoldenUsagi - Likes: 16 Comments: 8 Word Count: 3,901 Hit Count: 3,922

91. 91 Circles by GoldenUsagi - Likes: 16 Comments: 11 Word Count: 2,969 Hit Count: 4,182
There are some Sideways drabbles on my Livejournal HERE.  Also, keep an eye out for the second Interlude, which will take place between this chapter and the previous one.  It will be posted separately on this site sometime after Sideways is done.

92. Epilogue by GoldenUsagi - Likes: 78 Comments: 48 Word Count: 2,277 Hit Count: 4,508
Another thank you to Slaymesoftly for beta-ing! And a huge thank you to everyone who has read the story. Thank you for all your reviews, support, and encouragement! I hope you enjoyed reading the story as much as I enjoyed writing it. I really can’t believe it’s been almost two years since I started it. And I can’t believe it’s actually finished. :) But I’ve had a great time, and that’s because fandom has been so great. Thank you!