Penname: Herself
Real Name:
Pronouns:
Location:
Member Since: September 16, 2013
Last Active: April 16, 2024
Membership Status: Member
Skin: not-without-a-fight
Author
All my fanfic is here: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Herself_nyc/works
  Stories (31)    Series (3)    Comments (1)    Statistics  
 
 
Stories by Herself
A Nice Place To Visit, But ... by Herself [NC-17] Likes: 28 Comments: 7
Summary: "Something's gone wonky, yeah, an' you're not in 1997 anymore, Buffy. This is your future. These children, they're yours. Ours."
A tale set in the Bittersweet-verse, post Mrs Grieves & The Abandoned Husband.
Beta and Sensitivity Readers: None
Artists: None
Series: Bittersweets
Categories: Time Travel, Season 2, Post-Series, Alternate Reality
Characters: Angel, Buffy, Cordelia, Dawn, Giles, Spike, Willow, Xander
Genres: Angst, Drama
Warnings: Adult Language, Sexual Situations
Completed: Yes Chapters: 1 Table of Contents
Word count: 20,735 Hit Count: 3,484 ePub Downloads: 154
Published: September 19, 2013 Updated: September 19, 2013
Past Featured Story
A Terrible Thing by Herself [NC-17] Likes: 72 Comments: 38
Summary: "Ought to know better than to get between a man and his booze," he said. The rage was so hot in her she only wanted to scream at him, to scream and scream. "You're not a man—!" She stopped. Because the hell of it ... he was. Novella-length story, with spoilers for all of BtVS and AtS, complete in two parts. Winner, Judge's Choice, in Round 2 'Soulless Spike' of Raison D'Etre Awards, Summer '05. Winner, Best Buffy Characterization, Best Angst, in Round 12 of the Love's Last Glimpse Awards, Dec '05. (Completed June 2005)
Beta and Sensitivity Readers: None
Artists: None
Categories: Post-Series, Award Winners
Characters: Buffy, Spike
Genres: Angst, Drama
Warnings: Adult Language, Attempted Suicide, Human!Spike, Infertility Issues/Miscarriage, Mental Health Issues, Sexual Situations, Substance Use/Addiction, Suicidal Ideation, Violence
Completed: Yes Chapters: 4 Table of Contents
Word count: 74,488 Hit Count: 9,343 ePub Downloads: 535
Published: September 17, 2013 Updated: September 17, 2013
A Totally Random Occurrence by Herself [NC-17] Likes: 42 Comments: 20
Summary: The stake slipped from her fingers, and she had to take a deep breath to stave off the dizziness descending on her like a hood over her head. "You—I thought you were dead." A reunion in New York City. Set post-NFA, spoilers for all of BtVS and AtS. (Completed August 2005)
Winner for Best PWP, runner up for Best Future Fic at Love's Last Glimpse Awards Round 18.
Beta and Sensitivity Readers: None
Artists: None
Categories: Post-Series, Award Winners, Award Runners-Up
Characters: Buffy, Spike
Genres: Drama, Romance
Warnings: Adult Language, Blood Play, Sexual Situations
Completed: Yes Chapters: 1 Table of Contents
Word count: 9,901 Hit Count: 5,584 ePub Downloads: 296
Published: September 17, 2013 Updated: September 17, 2013
All Merry and Bright by Herself [NC-17] Likes: 20 Comments: 4
Summary: This is a little sequel to "The Littler Bit." Very little happens in it. (Completed August 2002)
Beta and Sensitivity Readers: None
Artists: None
Series: Bittersweets
Categories: Season 6, Baby/Kid Fic
Characters: Buffy, Spike
Genres: Drama, Romance
Warnings: Adult Language, Sexual Situations
Completed: Yes Chapters: 1 Table of Contents
Word count: 4,165 Hit Count: 2,023 ePub Downloads: 119
Published: September 20, 2013 Updated: September 20, 2013
Past Featured Story
All Wrong by Herself [NC-17] Likes: 47 Comments: 17
Summary: She can't go on, she'll go on. Spike and Buffy meet again, post Wrecked. (Completed December 2001)
Beta and Sensitivity Readers: None
Artists: None
Series: Bittersweets
Categories: Season 6
Characters: Buffy, Spike
Genres: Angst, Drama
Warnings: Adult Language, Sexual Situations
Completed: Yes Chapters: 1 Table of Contents
Word count: 4,126 Hit Count: 3,899 ePub Downloads: 201
Published: September 20, 2013 Updated: September 20, 2013
Beneath by Herself [R] Likes: 17 Comments: 13
Summary: Spike has amnesia. Buffy learns he doesn't need to remember her to know her. Set in season 6, roughly after the third or fourth time Buffy sleeps with Spike. Dark. (Completed December 2007)
Beta and Sensitivity Readers: None
Artists: None
Categories: Alternate Reality, Season 6
Characters: Buffy, Spike
Genres: Angst, Drama
Warnings: Adult Language, Sexual Situations, Violence
Completed: Yes Chapters: 1 Table of Contents
Word count: 4,505 Hit Count: 2,671 ePub Downloads: 98
Published: September 16, 2013 Updated: September 16, 2013
Disenchantment by Herself [NC-17] Likes: 44 Comments: 18
Summary: Magic wasn't through with her yet. Spoilers through Season 7. Winner, "Best Long Story" in the Love's Last Glimpse Awards, "Best Long Fiction" in Round 9 Judge's Choice in the Spuffy Awards. (Completed June 2003)
Winner for Best Buffy Characterization (Judges' Choice),Best General Long Fiction (Readers' Choice) at the Spuffy Awards Round 3.
Beta and Sensitivity Readers: None
Artists: None
Series: Disenchantment
Categories: Post-Series, Award Winners
Characters: Buffy, Spike
Genres: Angst, Drama, Romance
Warnings: Adult Language, Sexual Situations
Completed: Yes Chapters: 1 Table of Contents
Word count: 25,260 Hit Count: 3,333 ePub Downloads: 282
Published: September 17, 2013 Updated: September 17, 2013
Distance by Herself [NC-17] Likes: 765 Comments: 192
Summary: When Buffy goes to the aid of an amnesiac Spike after the L.A. apocalypse, they both find out what lies at the core of their mutual attraction. Can their new love survive the return of Spike's real memories of all that's gone before? (Completed April 2008)
Beta and Sensitivity Readers: None
Artists: None
Categories: Award Winners, Post-Series
Characters: Buffy, Spike
Genres: Angst, Drama, Romance
Warnings: Adult Language, Blood Play, Sexual Situations
Completed: Yes Chapters: 62 Table of Contents
Word count: 131,551 Hit Count: 63,672 ePub Downloads: 620
Published: September 16, 2013 Updated: September 16, 2013
First Time by Herself [NC-17] Likes: 22 Comments: 6
Summary: "You can't pretend you were in love with me back when . . . when you were trying to kill me." A PWP set, perhaps, some time after Lovingkindness. Earlier version published on Livejournal. (Completed November 2003).
Beta and Sensitivity Readers: None
Artists: None
Series: What She Deserves
Categories: Alternate Reality
Characters: Buffy, Spike
Genres: Drama, Porn w/ Plot, Romance
Warnings: Adult Language, Sexual Situations
Completed: Yes Chapters: 1 Table of Contents
Word count: 2,606 Hit Count: 2,258 ePub Downloads: 155
Published: September 17, 2013 Updated: September 17, 2013
Forgive Me by Herself [NC-17] Likes: 27 Comments: 9
Summary: Will he? Will she? There's plenty to forgive on both sides. (Completed January 2002)
Beta and Sensitivity Readers: None
Artists: None
Series: Bittersweets
Categories: Season 6
Characters: Buffy, Spike
Genres: Angst, Drama
Warnings: Abuse, Adult Language, Blood Play, Mental Health Issues, Rape (Actual), Sexual Situations
Completed: Yes Chapters: 1 Table of Contents
Word count: 16,652 Hit Count: 2,593 ePub Downloads: 168
Published: September 20, 2013 Updated: September 20, 2013
Forsake Me Not by Herself [NC-17] Likes: 19 Comments: 7
Summary: "All this time, they thought I loved them, the way they love me. But I can't love." (Completed August 2003)
Winner for Best General Angst (Readers' Choice), Best General Long Fiction (Judges' Choice) at the Spuffy Awards Round 4. Winner, Round 9 Judges' Picks, Spuffy Awards.
Beta and Sensitivity Readers: None
Artists: None
Series: Bittersweets
Categories: Alternate Reality, Award Winners
Characters: Buffy, Spike
Genres: Angst, Drama
Warnings: Adult Language, Sexual Situations, Spike/Other (Temp)
Completed: Yes Chapters: 1 Table of Contents
Word count: 49,494 Hit Count: 2,018 ePub Downloads: 173
Published: September 20, 2013 Updated: September 20, 2013
Leather by Herself [NC-17] Likes: 28 Comments: 8
Summary: It got her hot. It got her boiling, the soulless killer's coat. Spoilers through "Get It Done" in Season 7. (Completed February 2003).
Beta and Sensitivity Readers: None
Artists: None
Categories: Season 7
Characters: Buffy, Spike
Genres: Angst, Drama, Romance
Warnings: Adult Language, Sexual Situations
Completed: Yes Chapters: 1 Table of Contents
Word count: 16,199 Hit Count: 1,552 ePub Downloads: 115
Published: September 17, 2013 Updated: September 17, 2013
Let's Get Lost by Herself [NC-17] Likes: 59 Comments: 35
Summary: She'd gone far far away from Sunnydale. From herself. Her name. Her calling. She didn't want any contact with the old life. Much less him. That pain-in-the-ass vampire. "Spike." She punched at the eyes floating before her; but he ducked and she pitched forward. He caught her before she fell face down in the filth. "What is this?" She wrenched herself free. "Since when do you help?" Set immediately post season 2. (Completed June 2007)
Winner for Best WIP, Best Buffy Characterization at Love's Last Glimpse Round 20.
Beta and Sensitivity Readers: None
Artists: None
Categories: Season 2, Alternate Reality, Award Winners
Characters: Buffy, Spike
Genres: Angst, Drama
Warnings: Adult Language, Sexual Situations
Completed: Yes Chapters: 1 Table of Contents
Word count: 58,208 Hit Count: 5,472 ePub Downloads: 512
Published: September 16, 2013 Updated: September 16, 2013
Lift by Herself [NC-17] Likes: 19 Comments: 7
Summary: A porny outtake from Disenchantment.
Beta and Sensitivity Readers: None
Artists: None
Series: Disenchantment
Categories: Post-Series
Characters: Buffy, Spike
Genres: Drama, Porn w/ Plot, Romance
Warnings: Adult Language, Sexual Situations
Completed: Yes Chapters: 1 Table of Contents
Word count: 1,072 Hit Count: 1,481 ePub Downloads: 83
Published: September 17, 2013 Updated: September 17, 2013
Listening to Garnetta by Herself [NC-17] Likes: 20 Comments: 4
Summary: Buffy really gets the blues. (It's a good idea to have read "Manhattan Nocturne" before turning to this one.) (Completed late December/early January 2002)
Beta and Sensitivity Readers: None
Artists: None
Series: Bittersweets
Categories: Season 6
Characters: Buffy, Spike
Genres: Angst, Drama
Warnings: Adult Language, Sexual Situations
Completed: Yes Chapters: 1 Table of Contents
Word count: 3,444 Hit Count: 1,667 ePub Downloads: 139
Published: September 20, 2013 Updated: September 20, 2013
Lovingkindness by Herself [NC-17] Likes: 29 Comments: 13
Summary: "Their stares penetrated Spike the way he'd penetrated them, and sucked him nearly as dry." A sequel to What She Deserves. After his reunion with Buffy in NYC, Spike returns to Sunnydale to find that things between them aren't quite what he'd supposed. Spoilers only through s6. (Completed November 2002)
Beta and Sensitivity Readers: None
Artists: None
Series: What She Deserves
Categories: Alternate Reality, Season 6
Characters: Buffy, Spike
Genres: Angst, Drama, Romance
Warnings: Adult Language, Sexual Situations, Spike/Other (Temp)
Completed: Yes Chapters: 1 Table of Contents
Word count: 54,257 Hit Count: 2,258 ePub Downloads: 290
Published: September 17, 2013 Updated: September 17, 2013
Mr Grieves And The Fallen Woman by Herself [NC-17] Likes: 13 Comments: 5
Summary: Buffy finds herself in 19th century London, and meets someone she thinks she knows. (Completed April 2002)
Beta and Sensitivity Readers: None
Artists: None
Series: Bittersweets
Categories: Season 6
Characters: Buffy, Spike, William
Genres: Angst, Drama
Warnings: Adult Language, Sexual Situations
Completed: Yes Chapters: 1 Table of Contents
Word count: 20,730 Hit Count: 2,057 ePub Downloads: 175
Published: September 20, 2013 Updated: September 20, 2013
Mrs Grieves & The Abandoned Husband by Herself [NC-17] Likes: 14 Comments: 9
Summary: Spike gripped his wrist tighter. "You're tragic, you are. No—no, not even tragic. Not good enough to be tragic." (Completed November 2003)
Judge's Choice Winner at Love's Last Glimpse Round 20.
Beta and Sensitivity Readers: None
Artists: None
Series: Bittersweets
Categories: Alternate Reality, Award Winners
Characters: Buffy, Spike, William
Genres: Angst, Drama
Warnings: None
Completed: Yes Chapters: 1 Table of Contents
Word count: 38,991 Hit Count: 1,923 ePub Downloads: 204
Published: September 20, 2013 Updated: September 20, 2013
Near Enough by Herself [NC-17] Likes: 33 Comments: 10
Summary: Ten minutes in bed with Spike and Buffy. (Completed late December, 2001)
Beta and Sensitivity Readers: None
Artists: None
Series: Bittersweets
Categories: Season 6
Characters: Buffy, Spike
Genres: Angst, Drama
Warnings: Adult Language, Sexual Situations
Completed: Yes Chapters: 1 Table of Contents
Word count: 1,493 Hit Count: 2,565 ePub Downloads: 145
Published: September 20, 2013 Updated: September 20, 2013
Not Dead by Herself [NC-17] Likes: 115 Comments: 33
Summary: Soon after her resurrection, Buffy gets turned. Spike tries to help her adjust. (Completed April 1, 2009)
Beta and Sensitivity Readers: None
Artists: None
Categories: Award Winners, Season 6, Alternate Reality
Characters: Buffy, Spike
Genres: Angst, Drama, Romance
Warnings: Adult Language, Sexual Situations, Vampire!Buffy
Completed: Yes Chapters: 16 Table of Contents
Word count: 24,819 Hit Count: 15,559 ePub Downloads: 226
Published: September 16, 2013 Updated: September 16, 2013
Not My Beautiful House by Herself [NC-17] Likes: 30 Comments: 12
Summary: As Spike goes after that dragon, he finds himself instead where he least expected. Written for the seasonal_spuffy community on Livejournal. Spoilers for all of BtVS and Angel, and for The Bittersweets stories through All Merry & Bright. Winner, Best Long Story, Best Spike Characterization, Love's Last Glimpse awards, March '07. (Completed March 2006)
Beta and Sensitivity Readers: None
Artists: None
Series: Bittersweets
Categories: Award Winners, Post-Series, Crossover (AtS), Alternate Reality
Characters: Buffy, Spike
Genres: Drama
Warnings: Adult Language, Sexual Situations
Completed: Yes Chapters: 1 Table of Contents
Word count: 22,286 Hit Count: 2,388 ePub Downloads: 148
Published: September 24, 2013 Updated: September 24, 2013
Some Scenes From the Later Life of Two Heroes by Herself [R] Likes: 7 Comments: 4
Summary: Far-future sequel to The Approved Mode of Payback and Blue-Eyed Boy  (mod note: both are Spander fics) but may be read as a stand-alone. "She was the same age as Xander, who had cleared ninety, and yet she was still twenty-odd. Came back wrong." References to past Spike/Xander, Buffy/Angel. (Completed May 2006)
Beta and Sensitivity Readers: None
Artists: None
Categories: Post-Series
Characters: Buffy, Spike
Genres: Angst, Drama, Romance
Warnings: Adult Language, Sexual Situations
Completed: Yes Chapters: 1 Table of Contents
Word count: 4,376 Hit Count: 866 ePub Downloads: 50
Published: September 24, 2013 Updated: September 24, 2013
Past Featured Story
Spike's Girl by Herself [NC-17] Likes: 53 Comments: 20
Summary: "That vamp in the bathroom?" Buffy says. "She was with you?" What happens when worlds collide. Set post-NFA, spoilers for all of BtVS and AtS. (Completed December 2005)
Winner for Best Spike Characterization (Judges' Choice), Best General Romance (Judges' Choice) at the Spuffy Awards Round 10.
Beta and Sensitivity Readers: None
Artists: None
Categories: Post-Series, Award Winners
Characters: Buffy, Spike
Genres: Angst, Drama, Romance
Warnings: Adult Language, Sexual Situations, Spike/Other (Temp)
Completed: Yes Chapters: 3 Table of Contents
Word count: 23,157 Hit Count: 4,863 ePub Downloads: 213
Published: September 16, 2013 Updated: September 16, 2013
Spike, Or The Ambiguities by Herself [NC-17] Likes: 18 Comments: 2
Summary: Because nothing is pure black and white... (Completed March/April 2002)
Beta and Sensitivity Readers: None
Artists: None
Series: Bittersweets
Categories: Season 6
Characters: Buffy, Spike
Genres: Angst, Drama
Warnings: Adult Language, Sexual Situations
Completed: Yes Chapters: 1 Table of Contents
Word count: 14,404 Hit Count: 1,811 ePub Downloads: 150
Published: September 20, 2013 Updated: September 20, 2013
The Littler Bit by Herself [NC-17] Likes: 29 Comments: 6
Summary: Tuberculosis, gonorrhea, and unpleasant revelations aren't the only things Buffy brings back with her from her sojourn in London, 1880. (Completed May 2002) 
Beta and Sensitivity Readers: None
Artists: None
Series: Bittersweets
Categories: Baby/Kid Fic, Season 6
Characters: Buffy, Spike
Genres: Angst, Drama
Warnings: Adult Language, Sexual Situations
Completed: Yes Chapters: 2 Table of Contents
Word count: 32,594 Hit Count: 4,605 ePub Downloads: 186
Published: September 20, 2013 Updated: September 20, 2013
What She Deserves by Herself [NC-17] Likes: 35 Comments: 15
Summary: "This is something new," she said. "Be quiet and find out what it is." On a solo cross-country road trip, Buffy regains her own equilibrium, and finds that everything is different when she encounters Spike in NYC. Spoilers only through season 6. Immortal Moonlight Nominee. Winner, "Best Long Story" in the Watching You Awards 2002, Co-Winner of Best Long Story in the January 2003 Halo awards. (Completed August 2002)
Beta and Sensitivity Readers: None
Artists: None
Series: What She Deserves
Categories: Award Winners, Season 6, Alternate Reality
Characters: Buffy, Spike
Genres: Angst, Drama, Romance
Warnings: Adult Language, Sexual Situations, Spike/Other (Temp)
Completed: Yes Chapters: 1 Table of Contents
Word count: 30,821 Hit Count: 2,644 ePub Downloads: 276
Published: September 17, 2013 Updated: September 17, 2013
What's It To Be? by Herself [NC-17] Likes: 27 Comments: 5
Summary: Buffy, Spike, and that old black magic . . . (Completed February 2002)
Beta and Sensitivity Readers: None
Artists: None
Series: Bittersweets
Categories: Season 6
Characters: Buffy, Spike
Genres: Angst, Drama
Warnings: Adult Language, Sexual Situations
Completed: Yes Chapters: 1 Table of Contents
Word count: 30,460 Hit Count: 2,325 ePub Downloads: 184
Published: September 20, 2013 Updated: September 20, 2013
Where They Have To Take You In by Herself [NC-17] Likes: 31 Comments: 22
Summary: "There are things everywhere that'll break your heart. Just break it. Fortunately, you can live a big big life, even with a broken heart." A novel-length story, complete in 10 parts, in The Bittersweets series, set twenty-one years after the events of Mrs Grieves & The Abandoned Husband. (Completed August 2004)
Runner up for Best Long Story at Love's Last Glimpse Awards 2005.
Beta and Sensitivity Readers: None
Artists: None
Series: Bittersweets
Categories: Alternate Reality, Award Runners-Up
Characters: Angel, Buffy, Original Characters, Spike
Genres: Angst, Drama
Warnings: Adult Language, Blood Play, Buffy/Other (Temp), Sexual Situations, Spike/Other (Temp), Violence
Completed: Yes Chapters: 10 Table of Contents
Word count: 186,127 Hit Count: 8,668 ePub Downloads: 233
Published: September 20, 2013 Updated: September 20, 2013
Who am I? by Herself [NC-17] Likes: 25 Comments: 7
Summary: Buffy's pretty sure she doesn't know. Spike hopes she'll figure it out. (Completed January 2002)
Beta and Sensitivity Readers: None
Artists: None
Series: Bittersweets
Categories: Season 6
Characters: Buffy, Spike
Genres: Angst, Drama
Warnings: Adult Language, Sexual Situations
Completed: Yes Chapters: 1 Table of Contents
Word count: 8,261 Hit Count: 1,931 ePub Downloads: 155
Published: September 20, 2013 Updated: September 20, 2013
Yes by Herself [PG] Likes: 27 Comments: 9
Summary: "Spike, when we were under that spell . . . we were both pretty silly, weren't we? But I felt things . . . " A sequel to First Time. Spoilers only through season 6. (Completed December 2003)
Beta and Sensitivity Readers: None
Artists: None
Series: What She Deserves
Categories: Alternate Reality
Characters: Buffy, Spike
Genres: Drama, Romance
Warnings: None
Completed: Yes Chapters: 1 Table of Contents
Word count: 1,925 Hit Count: 2,053 ePub Downloads: 131
Published: September 17, 2013 Updated: September 17, 2013